Snow Faery Story (Fool's Gold) Update & Said-Bookisms

Twice, I blogged about the short story I'm working on right now:

There Are No Snow Days in Writing

More on My Snow Faery Short Story

I am in the final edit of Fool's Gold, a YA cautionary tale in the tradition of the Grimm's darker stories. Normally, it would be finished already, but my writing got sidetracked by some health issues I've been battling in the past few months.

Fool's Gold received good reviews on Critters; I've spent the past few days plowing through a slew of critiques. My inbox got swamped! Overwhelmed by all the responses, I want to thank everyone who took the time to read my story. Your comments and suggestions have been very helpful.

I'll share my intro paragraph with you here.  It's changed since I first blogged.

Nell stared in horror at the tiny body of the man curled up next to their snow fort. If she held him upright in her palm, he would stand only a few inches tall. The man clutched a small bowler hat to his chest. She could see tiny threads of veins running across the hard angles of his translucent blue face, his chin pointy as an icicle. His hair, the color of fresh snow in moonlight, gleamed. His clothes were of the palest blue as sky reflected on water. He wore a long frock coat ending just above the knee, a frost blue cravat tied tightly at the collar of his band collar shirt.

In reading my critiques, one Critter offered a helpful article from the SFWA site. I am going to share it with you, in hopes it might improve your own writing. I learned the term "said-bookisms" in the past week. The SFWA defines this as:

Large words that mean ‘said,’ designed to connote additional information not conveyed in dialog or description. If used to excess, they result in overwriting: “I’m climaxing!” he ejaculated.

I removed the said-bookisms from my story and found it greatly improved the flow of my writing.

There are many other terms in the article used to critique someone else's work, they can be found here:
http://www.sfwa.org/2009/06/being-a-glossary-of-terms-useful-in-critiquing-science-fiction/

The Turkey City Lexicon - A Primer for SF Workshops also discusses useful terms for critiquing.

Both articles hold invaluable information for me.
As always, happy writing and happy reading to all!